Semester Schmester

I just perfected my Fall 2009 schedule as a Sophomore (shock!!!) at Cal State University Long Beach. Once again I fulfilled the Tuesday / Thursday classes only schedule with 16, yes SIXTEEN, units. I deserve a round of applause or at least a pat on the back, given that I was one of the last people to register for classes. Regardless of if I did or didn't get the reject classes, at least I'm going to be finished with my G.E.'s by the end of next semester.

Tuesday-Thursdays
8-9:15 Philosophy 160
10-11:50 Spanish 101b
12:30-1:43 Greek Mythology 101
2-3:15 Communications 130
3:30-4:45 Anthropology 120

Success!
Even though I am wait listed for Spanish but I'm only second in line waiting.

Crackberry

I just got my CRACKBERRY (blackberry for all intensive purposes) pearl today. Nevertheless, I will be O.G., and continue to own two yes 2 cellular phones at the same time. Why? Because I can. I am already business-savy at a young age of Nineteen. Suck it. That is all.

Boys and Girs With Short Hair

Not much on blogging today. I still feel a little bit obliterated from the last flu shot. Let me just explain to you how I'm feeling. It's a mix of complete intoxication and jet lag. That's just part of it. There's no coughing or real illness, except that my body is completely and utterly gone today. So much for running with Bestizzle and BFFC. Maybe next week. :) We can be lazy asses for another few days or so.

Here's why I titled it the way I did. This piece is by Keone Madrid and Mari(el) Martin. Their style is slick and clean and yet their songs don't necessarily have to be true "hip hop" in order to be a "hip hop" piece. They are by far two of the most talented choreographers out there right now.




Here's a quote I wish I'd found the other day when my dream sequence came along.
"Dreams. Everyone has them.
Some good, some bad. Some you wish you could forget.
Sometimes you realize, you've outgrown them.
Sometimes you feel like they're finally coming true.
And some of us, just have nightmares.
But no matter what you dream, when morning comes, reality intrudes and the dream begins to slip away. Dream a little dream of me."


Regardless of my sickness, here's why I have a smirk on my face:
1. I got through my history quiz, even though I didn't read anything.
2. I went home early and got to sleep a good 4 fours.
3. I found amazing parking on campus even though I had to haul ass to class.
4. I found my gold earrings :)
5. My mommy made me soup and noddles since I wasn't feeling well.

Flu Shot Side Effects

Warning: I am partially delusional from my flu shot from work, excuse the rambling.

I woke up this morning weirded out by what my subconscious thoughts decided to linger within my dreams. The dream or nightmare possibly was re-occurring. It's the same stuff all over again. I'm not into relishing details on the dream, I'd rather analyze on my own. Its hard to find the signs within the images but what other sign could it be? I was fully aware and sure that my closet and drawer was completely closed. Why would I have to dream about this then? I KNOW I'm over everything. Is it that consciously I'm telling myself its done but my subconscious is constantly telling me otherwise. Ida what is with you. I honestly and truly believe that is caused by the flu shot, but what if it isn't. Sometimes, I'm trying to tell myself to believe one thing, yet I know I don't feel that way other wise.

Distraction.

Viva La Lakers tonight @ 7:30 for Game Five. If we win this, then we're off to the semi finals playing against either the Trailblazers or the Rockets, but most likely the Rockets since their record right now is 3-1 over Portland. Cavs are the first team to guarantee their spot in the Conference Semi-Finals. Remember that old saying, "first the worst, second the best..." well it soo goes for the Lakers in this situation.

Even though I'm drowsy, here's a few reasons why I smiled today:
1. Got my flu shot, just in case that Swine Flu comes around gnarly.
2. Went to work for 4 hours. Money in the bank.
3. Finished majority of my work.
4. Lost 2 lbs according to my scale.
5. Ate a very delicious 1/4 pounder during Lunch.

I'm off for the day most likely. Reading "Coming of Age in Mississippi" for my History Quiz tomorrow. Sparknotes has been my best friend lately.

Just Like Chicken & Waffles

Spent the day at Universal with the BFFL Jason and his famz. I had fun, it was one of those chill days where we just go out of nowhere since we all have annuals to the park. Then after we went to eat at Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles. Yum.




♥


We get each other, like two peas in a pod, which is no surprise why we're BFFLs. And no he's not my boyfriend, nor will he ever be. He's more like my partner in crime when it comes to mischief and brodder when it comes to everything else. Ever since I think junior year he's been my best guy friend who I can always turn to no matter what, and I'm the same for him. I think that even though we don't always see each other, our friendship stays STRONG like Arnold Schwarzeneger in the Terminator. Through thick and thin. I love that boy to death, even if we don't always see eye to eye. We're just like chicken and waffles. ;)

In other news, spent like an hour with Char and we had one of those heart to heart moments that most besties have, except while I was enjoying my chicken adobo rice and she had my hot cheetos we got through the topic of "closing the door" on things, more specifically, how certain individuals do so. We realize its hard, and not everyone gets through it the same way. But I'm proud of her that she's fully closed her door, and that I'm 100% sure that I've closed mine. We hit a high HIGH-FIVE and toasted to closed doors of the past, and bright doors of the future.

"Good things come from dark moments...
but don't relish in the darkness."
-Father Jim at today's service.
It was one of those homilies where it really stuck to me. I can so relate to everything he preached today. Whether it be about living at home during college, the stress of work and school, or even troubles with relationships. We can't always look at dark moments with hesitation, good things might possibly come out of it. But at the same time, we can't persist and linger in the dark rather push forward and propel to the light.

Amen.

So Ida, Why Did You Smile Today?
1. Spent good quality bonding time with my BFFL.
2. Ate a dodger dog without having to sit through a Dodger game.
3. Had a really meaningful talk with the BFFC.
4. Ate at Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles.
5. Attended a very life-brightening (if you will) service.

:)

Seven Things I Hate About You

Random :) and Bored.

SEVEN THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. spiders
2. haunted houses
3. scary movies
4. dolls
5. grades below a C
6. bees
7. commitment

SEVEN THINGS YOU LIKE THE MOST:
1. filipino boys
2. boys who dance
3. music
4. expensive clothes
5. purses
6. nikes
7. zac efron


SEVEN IMPORTANT THINGS IN YOUR ROOM:
1. cellphone
2. ipod
3. laptop
4. car keys
5. 500 dollars worth of make up
6. my entire wardrobe
7. nikes <3

SEVEN RANDOM FACTS ABOUT YOU:
1. I fall for assholes
2. I dance in grocery store aisles
3. I can eat McDonalds without feeling guilty.
4. I have a scar on my arm from 6th grade when a girl stabbed me with a pencil when she was running without looking.
5. Blame It - Jamie Foxx and T-Pain is the story of my 19th Birthday.
6. I sing in the car, like pour my heart out, American Idol singing.
7. I've probably done the most things bad possibly.

SEVEN THINGS YOU PLAN TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Go Skydiving.
2. See Britney Spears in concert.
3. Audition for a singing Competition.
4. Have a loving family complete with a white picket fence.
5. Tour Europe.
6. Tour Asia.
7. Fly an airplane.

SEVEN THINGS YOU CAN DO:
1. Consume large amounts of alcohol in one evening.
2. Dance.
3. Sing.
4. Take plentiful amounts of pictures.
5. Drive on the freeway "with one hand on the wheel the other on my heartttt" haha
6. Cook chicken adobo and the next day make bomb adobo rice.
7. Make a good wifey one day.

SEVEN THINGS YOU CAN'T DO:
1. Swim.
2. Walk on the CSULB campus without getting hit my a longboarder or a skateboarder.
3. Sleep with my eyes open, though it would be helpful in College courses.
4. Arrive early (with the exception of school) casually late or Filipino time always.
5. Go to my Math 108 (Statistics class) I just can't.
6. Drive slower than 40 mph. It hurts my heart.
7. I can't kiss my elbows :)


SEVEN THINGS YOU SAY THE MOST
1. Holla
2. Shit
3. Sick
4. Mad Dope
5. Nasty
6. Fack
7. Janky or in variation of Janks


SEVEN CELEB CRUSHES:
1. Zac Efron
2. Taylor Lautner
3. Robert Pattinson
4. Paul Walker
5. Michael Copon
6. Jericho Rosales
7. Darryl <3 haahha

Happy Endings

Although today was overly hectic by the evening, I've had a pretty relaxed morning and afternoon compared to the past few weekends. Sure, I haven't been taking class, leaving Friday nights open, but it feels good to have time to myself to just "veg" so to speak. I can't remember when was the last time I slept in until 12 in the afternoon, (though BFFC and BabySis were the first to text me both at 9AM) and just relish in the comforts of my princess sized bed. I got up, fixed up brunch for me, daddy and the uncle. When they left for No-Fridge, I had the house to myself. I love the thought of just relaxing on my couch, with no responsibilities watching Scooby-Doo 1 and 2 on ABC Family, while painting my nails. I can't remember when was the last time I could do that without interruptions. By the time 5:30 comes around, it was time to get ready for the Wedding Anniversary, which was pretty much the point of this blog.

My Tito and Tita (tagalog for Uncle and Aunt) have been married for 25 years. We celebrated their Silver wedding anniversary in Cerritos at a really quaint but event appropriate Chinese Restaurant. Bomb food by the way. I need to take some classes to get the fat off my ass and thighs. But what I'm trying to explain is how much love there was in that room. Each time they looked into each other's eyes or held each other's hands, it was visible that fate and forever were on their side. With 25 years in their past and even more years in their future, their love is constantly blossoming and flourishing. It's so amazing how two people can complete each other so well. I only hope that one day I'll celebrate my own 25 years of love with my own significant other.

Hopefully the next shindig I'll be attending is Chris and Mary's wedding. Cross our fingers for 2011 or even 2010. ;) Maid of honor finally! No more flower girl. Time for big girl stuff. HAHA.

Here's some pictures.


The Happy Couple


With Mommy and Daddy




(I wore my new black skinny jeans, with my new F21 top, gigantic gold earrings, chunky bracelet, and my lovely new Cole Haan pumps. I'm channeling my inner Vanessa Hudgens.)

Never the less here's why I smiled today:

1. Lakers won once again.
2. Wore my new Cole Haan pumps without getting blisters or pains in my feet.
3. Spent time with the Famz.
4. Got to wake up mad late.
5. Slept in the car on the ride home. Full on pass out status.

Off to Universal Studios tomorrow possibly :)

"It's just reality no it can't always be...
Kisses, Hugs and Beautiful words."

Fix

;)

In keeping with my goal of looking to the positives of my day...
Here are the reasons why I smiled today:

1. I spent time with momma<3

2. Spent half the day with TCB finally.

3. Got new black jeans that make my butt look nice.

4. Bought new gorgeous Cole Haan pumps that were 200 but so worth it.

5. I have decided to buy tickets for the Taylor Swift Concert on 5/22/2009 with Bestizzle, and Bestizzle's little sister.

6. Saw the gorgeous Taylor Lautner flex his gorgeous muscles on the set of New Moon.


The Video is of Darryl Belarmino and Phillip Geniza. I took both of their classes once and they are mad dope choreographers hailing from the San Diego area. Hottie Totties none-the-less. I want my future man-friend to be semi-like them with the Steeze, demeanor and Swagg. :] Yet another two reasons why I smiled today. Get'em Formality.


"You take my hand and drag me head first fearless..."
-Taylor Swift

How You Gonna Fix It?

In my mindless and futile attempt to be rid of my technology obsession, I ended up realizing that I didn't need to give it up in order to live my life. Instead, giving it up made me more cynical then I already am. Technology really was my means of expressing my opinions, views, and to capture the idiosyncracies of my everyday life. At the same time, I can vividly and unapologetically relive what goes on in my everyday life. Combining wit and humor, to recount my own daily interactions. It's for me and not for anyone else. I shouldn't have to give it up in order to "live life" it's all about managing a healthy and stable balance between the two in order to live vicariously they want to. It's expression, freedom of speech in a more technologically advanced way.

In my meaningless attempt to get over certain situations in my life, I've completely abolished three of the things that allow me to express myself freely. It's safe to say I'm back in the computer and tech-y world of blogging, tweeting, and facebooking. It felt like a gap, a gap that I thought I could live with, yet went half way crazy trying. I felt damaged, and in my futile and ridiculous attempt to "fix" myself, I've stopped being myself, and turned introverted and someone so ludicrous that I didn't even recognize myself.

So as far as getting back into the habit, I'm trying something new with my online blogging. To look at the good rather than relishing on the negatives. To focus more on what makes me smile, rather than what makes the space between my nose wrinkle up. Each day I'll find the things that happen to turn my mood on the positive. I want positivity around me to enrich and manifest happiness within and around my life. Whether it be people, circumstances, or even the smaller things that change me for the good.


Here's what made me smile today:
1. I got a 90/100 on my Statistics Midterm, especially since I hadn't attended class since my last midterm, and spent nearly half the time studying necessary.

2. A cute boy talked to me on campus.

3. I got parking during rush hour on campus relatively near to my class.

4. I spent time with BFFC <3

5. I texted soulsistaa Tina the whole day.

6. Mehmet Okur is sitting out of the Lakers V. Jazz game, ensuring another win for the Lakers.


Those are just some of the reasons why I'm smiling today.

Re-Evaluation / Hiatus

There's a part of me who's dedicated to constantly writing down everything that goes on in my mind, epiphanies, random moments or thoughts that I find inspiring, then there's the other side of me, that just doesn't want to be that person anymore. I feel like I've been an open book, and at the same time, a door mat. Walked over, and taken for granted. So for my 200+ readers according to my view count, I'm sad to say this might just be my last post for awhile. I know I went into this saying this would be my journal, my diary. But I feel like I've depended on it so much over the past couple of weeks to fill in a void, and I've come to realize that I'd much rather live my life, out in the world, than constantly depending on this blog to keep me sane. Over the past couple of weeks, I've grown bored and complacent with everything around me. It all felt so routine. This, then that, then some more of this. I've lost excitement and have become stagnant. Both things I've wanted to avoid. So in order for me to re-evaluate myself, my goals, my challenges, and decisions in life, in the expense of my blog, I've decided to stop blogging for the most part. And not just blogging in general but all sources of cyber connection. All of you have noticed my addiction to twitter, which I've decided to disconnect myself from, facebook which I'll ask my friends to change my password to and my myspace which I've already asked to delete. I guess what I'm trying to ask for is a fresh start. Who knows how long I'll last but I think I need more of a intervention and change rather than a constant avoidance of feelings and emotions being placed into this blog. It's just that its more of a cleansing, come to think of it, I owe no one an explanation and that's maybe something I'll learn over a course of time. I don't owe anyone anything. Not forgiveness, not forget, not friendship, not a relationship. I guess, I've just begun to build my wall again. Walls were meant to be broken at one point, but I never liked letting my guard down, and that was my mistake. And now these walls are being built so no one can knock them down. I need to build my guard up again. I need to stand on my own. I need to learn to defend my heart, my soul and my body from anything and everything that could hurt me. Something I've been neglecting to do. And hopefully by giving up the few things I've depended on, I'll grow to be on my own so I won't have to depend on them as much.

So for now, I'll be filling up the void and gap that relinquishing of these past times by working, focusing on school, spending time with people who make me smile, and teach me lessons I wouldn't learn from computer. I'll be dancing more, and taking a lot more me time to myself in order for me to get my priorities and perspectives in order.

For those who know why I might have been going on this hiatus, no one is to blame but myself. Myself for letting things get to me. Myself for depending on other people other than myself for fixing things. And Myself for letting my walls get broken down.

I feel like I've caved in, and let everything happen without analyzing the what-ifs. I know I'm contradicting myself a lot but I feel like I need that falsifiability in order to reattain my sanity.

So here's my formal farewell. Who know's when I'll be back.


But I hope to one day have volumes of journals that chronicle the life and times that is me. All things that come from your heart, mind, & soul, whether it be provocative, curious, intelligent, lame, creative, or banal, all deserve a chance to be expressed. I hope this might be Volume one.

"Once you lose yourself, you have two choices. Find the person you used to be, or lose that person completely Because sometimes you have to step outside of the person you've been and remember the person you were meant to be. The person you wanted to be. The person you are."

No Tomorrow

(LeLoveImage)



Lakers vs. Jazzers tonight, 7:30 on TNTHD
Let's get them purple and gold. Bring out your game Ariza, Farmar, Bynum, Fisher, Vujacic, Brown and Gasol! Get them Jazz. Workkkkk! :)

Five Minutes Of Inspiration

"Never let yourself grow up believing that... anybody is different from anybody else... love each other and do what you can do for your neighbors."
Audrey Hepburn

"The most important thing in life is your family... Sometimes it's the family you're born into, and sometimes it's the one you make for yourself."
Carrie Bradshaw

"If I made it, it's half because I was fame enough to take punishment and half because there were people who cared enough to help me."
Althea Gibson

"Fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life, and the procedure, the process is its own reward."
Amelia Earhart

All these women were extraordinary icons in the decades of female risktakers and rulebreakers, paving the way for girls and women of all ages. Women who constantly inspire and push the next generations to persevere and challenge themselves through obstacles placed upon us. American icons none the less.

Heels Over Head

Say you marry the last person you texted, what's your new full name?
Ida Del Rosario
til death to us part baby. hahah.

Is there one person that you'll always have feelings for?
I figure I'll get over it.

How many cell phones have you had?
Damn with my crackberry, I'll have about ... 10 lol

What's the last thing you laughed really hard over?
My mom was telling my dad not to forget the "pan de sal" and she goes, "don't forget your panties..." baahaha it's a filipino thing

What was the last drink you had?
pepsi

Who called you first this morning?
mommmaaa<3

Were you happy when you woke up today?
not exactly. it was freaking hot as fuck.

Are you the youngest person living in your house?
yes.

Do you have a bad temper?
nopes.

Do you still speak to any of your classmates from elementary school?
omg some of them! we go waaay back haha


In winter, would you rather wear jackets or hoodies?
COATS lately or my bomber jacket

Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
hawai'i

What will you be doing on Thursday?
school schmool =/

What color are your eyes?
dark brown.

Is there someone in your life you don't want in it?
one person.

Do you get jealous easily?
just annoyed

What woke you up this morning?
charlene's text message

Have you cried in the past week?
of course. i'm emotional like that. haha noooo.

How many times have you gotten detention in school?
NEVERRRRR

Do you have a little sister?
babysis143

Do you like to cuddle?
hell yes.

What do you currently hear?
DEMI LOVATO - GET BACK

Last place you hugged someone?
by my pool

Is there anybody really disappointed in you right now?
probably some elders in my family

Are you any good at math?
i'm pretty legit at it actually

Would you go in public looking like you do right now?
yeah. Vanessa Hudgens outfitted

Do you ignore people when you're mad/upset with them?
always.

Are you starting to realize anything?
that it's 11 pm right now and I have class at 8 tomorrow

One thing you're looking forward to?
Dance on Friday.

Do you like water parks?
When I don't drown

Does anyone call you babe?
.... let's not revisit that.

Honestly has anyone ever seen you in your underwear?
lmfao yeah.

Would you ever get a tattoo?
still waiting on it.

Did you mean "I love you" when you said it last?
NO. lol.

Do you have a best friend to lean on?
THREE.

Which is better sunrise or sunset?
sunsets are hard to beat.

Last time you got in trouble with the cops?
not trouble just run-ins

Something you want to say to someone?
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU WHAT THE HELL.

Are you okay right now?
perfectly fine.


"Thinking how you left me for dead...
California Bound..."
-Boys Like Girls

Just Like Me

There are FIVE things I love about this picture.
1. Zac Efron
2. Vanessa Hudgens
3. Kobe Bryant
4. That Zac and Vanessa are looking cute at the Lakers First Game of the Playoffs
5. The fact that the Lakers won this game


Hello Monday.

59Fifty Fitted

Another beach day with BFFC Char<3 fun times and sun times. I think we outtalked ourselves for a weekend. I doubt we'll see eachother this week though! So busy with school and work for the most part. Next weekend I have the Famz over, and then my uncle's wedding anniversary on Saturday and Male on Sunday at hype on Sunday with Phillip, Jaffar, Kyle and Elm! :) Yippee. Can't wait for the Lakers vs. Jazz game two on Tuesday!

Enjoy the pics! Holla!

Traffic Stop

Mass Appeal under Artistic Director Phillip Geniza
One of my favorite sets of 2008.



Lakers Game today at 12! Holla at the Purple and Gold. This better be worth skipping a day at the beach beach to get a little more golden brown and delicious! Let's go Bynum, Ariza, Gasol and Bryant! Get them Jazz!

Someone Wake Me Up

"Come on baby we ain't gonna live forever...
let me show you all the things that we can do."



Some new pictures, some relatively old. Memories none the less.

Revenge of the Fallen

Went to the beach again today with Char and now I have officially accomplished my sun-kissed tan glow. Surprise surprise right? But its perfect timing for this hot weather. This weekend was waaay too fun, as I have already expressed. But I'm super pumped for tomorrow's Lakers game against the Spazz, Jazz. And then homeworking for the most part :)

Here's the preview of the new Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen from Michael Bay's website! Mad Dope!


*Exclusive* Transformers Revenge of the Fallen Footage from Bay Films/Michael Bay Dot Com on Vimeo.

Sorry I guess they disabled the video -___- If I find it again, I'll repost, it was hellah mad dope though. Can't wait for the release of the movie.

My Life Would Suck Without You

Just a few of my favorites from this weekend :)







17again with lovers and friends.

and some mad quality time with the BFFC<3 143.







Eventful weekend. So tired and to think its only Friday. I love catching up. I love my friends. I love Charlene Akaptangkul, Rochelle Chung and Matt Mayeda. I love Korean BBQ. I love Zac Efron. I love epic amounts of picture. I love driving pointlessly. I love blasting music in cars. I love dancing (even though I didn't this week). And to top it off, I love Basketball which will be the highlight of my Sunday Afternoon. Cheers Everyone! Happy Weekend

Favorites

Tanning. Beaching. Korean BBQing. Picture Taking. Dancing. Singing. Living.
I honestly cannot ask for anything more.



Random thing I made from insomnia :)

RoboCop Okay Okay

So lately, with my brand new fancy iPOD, I've gotten addicted to certain songs, new and old and they've been playing over and over again. For those of you who don't already know, I'm such a buff when it comes to new music or music in general. I love every type of music out there, well minus the whole scream-o music. I have a deep appreciation for artists who share their craft with the world, a talent that I only wish I could do in the distant future. I was raised in family who loved and had a passion for music, so its only right for me to appreciate the art in such a high form. See me around school, my iPOD is attached to my ears all the time, see me in my car rocking out to jams and see me in my room choreographing to new beats. Its in my system, can't shake it out. Its a definite obsession, second to only dancing. Off on a tangent, here's a few songs I've been obsessed with lately. Just my top 25 yes?

1. Robocop - Kanye West
2. America's Suitehearts - Fall Out Boy
3. Butterfly - Jason Mraz
4. Pro Nails (Rusko Remix) - Kid Sister
5. For The Record - Mariah Carey
6. Maybe - Jay Sean
7. The Climb - Miley Cyrus
8. That's What You Get - Paramore
9. Bombs Over Baghdad - Outkast
10. Knock You Down - Keri Hilson
11. Flossin - The Cool Kids
12. The One That Got Away - Johnta Austin
13. Untouched - The Veronicas
14. If I Fall - The White Tie Affair
15. Diamond Girl - Ryan Leslie
16. Key To My Heart - Danity Kane
17. Will Work For Love - Usher
18. Say You Will - Brandy
19. Hold My Hand - New Found Glory
20. Love Sex Magic - Justin Timberlake & Ciara
21. Playing In Her Hair - The Dream
22. Hold N' Back - Marques Houston & Mya
23. Fly Away - Teyana Taylor
24. Bread N' Butta - MIMS
25. Hey Ma - Cam'ron

Some are old, some are new, some are mainstream, while some are tunes on the backburner of albums. They aren't necessarily hits but they all play a role in my mental well-being lately. They keep me sane. They help me get over problems, overcome obstacles, mellow down, drive slowly, drive faster, choreograph, contemplate, debate, anything and everything, these are my top 25 these days. Say what you want, say I'm being pretentious or a poser for some of the songs up there, but you know what? I don't care. I have a deep respect for these artists, whether mainstream, indie or just up and coming, mad respect. Maybe one day, just one day, I'll be on a top 25 of someone's list.

Here's Robocop.

RoboCop - Kanye West

For The Record

Not so much to blog about. But for the the record, I'm DONE. When I look back on this blog, today is the day I realized I'm done. No turning back, no taking it back. No more hitting rewind, no more thinking what it could have been like. I'm tired of constantly thinking that. Now it's just done. I'm finished. I've contemplated and thought about a lot of stuff, but that's just it, I've wasted my thinking contemplating and thinking when I knew the answer all along. It's better to let go. I've lived, and you know, you win some and you lose some, its a growing experience. I've made the mistake of in general always rethinking and giving too much into it, when it doesn't deserve it. It was my bad and I'm not blaming anyone else, just myself. I know better next time, and in this case there won't be a next time.


(postsecret)

Viva La Lakers

So as I sit in my living room, yelling at my TV, at the end of the first quarter of the Lakers - Jazz game, I sit and contemplate how much the Lakers games are like my own life... Not Really. I sit here yelling at Bynum and Ariza for their stupid moves but at the same time sitting in awe as Bynum hits that Alley-Oop dunk feed from Fischer. The Purple and Gold bleeds within in my soul and it would only make me even more happier today if they kill them Spazz, I mean the Jazz and by kill, I mean downright murder them. This is game number 82 for the Lakers, the last game of regular season, and basketball NBA post season is just DAYS away. I've always watched the Lakers hard core and I love watching these games with the Famz and my daddy just yelling at the TV. And when I get into it, I get into it. These boys need to get into the playoffs, (btw I cannot wait for the Playoffs, regardless of who goes in, though I want my boys to get in there, its the most exciting season of sports for me) and pwn all over again. They've gotten this far in the season, they deserve anything and everything. So let me break it down for you what these boys have in store for them...

IFWHEN we beat Utah, we will see them in the 1st round, no matter what!
IF the Jazz, Mavs & Hornets all tie with a record of 49-33, we will play the Mavs.
IF Utah and the Mavs win, we get the Hornets.
IF Utah and Hornets win, we get the Mavs.

Game NUMBER 82 PEOPLE! Let's get hyped!

All of the Above

I Love My Bestizzle and BFFC :)
They make hazy days and lazy days go away.

miss idaaa: we're taking my car
miss idaaa: even though it's dinky
miss idaaa: at least it can handle distances, dips and drunkies
charzaam: the dinkier the cozier
r0CHELLEEEE: hahahahaa
r0CHELLEEEE: hell yeee

charzaam: i farted and panda ran away!
miss idaaa: instead of throwing it
r0CHELLEEEE: supperrr PARTY FOUL
miss idaaa: LMFAO
miss idaaa: your farts are diabolical
charzaam: hahahhahaha
charzaam: fer sure
miss idaaa: even blind dogs cant handle it
charzaam: lollllll
r0CHELLEEEE: ahahhahahaa
r0CHELLEEEE: awhh pannddaa

miss idaaa: i need a zac efron shirt
r0CHELLEEEE: i kinda do.....i've been around girls all day errday
miss idaaa: and face paint
miss idaaa: lol
charzaam: LOL
miss idaaa: because
charzaam: are you a warrior now
charzaam: ?
r0CHELLEEEE: ahahahaha
miss idaaa: i want to show up like a diehard fan to to the premier
charzaam: you need the bear claws on your chest?
charzaam: haha
r0CHELLEEEE: zac efron warrior


I think I Adore Them.

Camera Whores

Besteezie Love.

Untouched

What are you craving right now?
PINKBERRY<3

Was the last person you kissed cute?
Zac Efron was mad sexy.

What are you doing this week?
some work, some school and a lot of fun in between

What were you doing at 12 pm?
church :)

Have you ever kissed someone whos name starts with a C?
Charlene Akapatangkul haha :)

Are you a jealous person?
not really.

Do you get along with girls?
My bestz and a hand full of other girls including SoulSistaa, D, Molly and the original QBs.

If someone liked you would you want them to tell you?
I'd want them to be straight forward with me and not be around the bush.

Are you too forgiving?
I'm a pushover.

Are you happy with life?
I'm content.

Can you cook?
I can learn to cook. I'm better at baking

Whos your last missed call from?
BFFL's momma.

Do you call anybody by their last name?
Not that I know of...

Been called a bad influence?
NO I'm the good influence.

Do you ever wish you were famous?
I am famous. I'm a fucking Celebrity. :) JK.

Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?
famz, BFFL, and a handful of close friends.

Do you ever think what if?
read the blog haha I always consider the possibilities

Do you mind sleeping on the floor?
not at all.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
it'd be nice... can't expect too much though

Do you think youll be married in 10 years?
I'd like to think so

Would you go in public looking like you do right now?
yeahhhhh :)

Is there someone who you can spend every minute with and still be happy?
oh yeah.

Have you ever told someone to their face they were ugly?
BFFL.

Do you go tanning?
tomorrow.

How did you and your number 2 become friends?
FAMZ<3

Do you drink a lot of water?
ALWAYS.

Did you hug or kiss anyone today?
hugs on easter :)

Do you think youve changed over the past year?
i've grown up... a lot

Is there a meaning behind your profile song?
on myspace I have 10, each have significance... or just a legit beat haha

Are you currently wanting any body piercings or tattoos?
hopefully my piercing and then my tattoo on my neck

Are you ticklish?
super ticklish

Has a boy/girl ever called you babe/ baby/babydoll?
idaBABY <3
but yes.

Did you have a good day yesterday?
It was super chill nothing bad.

Is tomorrow gonna be a good day?
it should be

What were you doing at 745AM this morning?
sleeeeeeeping

Do you like to take walks?
with boys on the beach
or while shopping at the mall

Do you trust all of your friends?
the bestz and the famz.



First of all, Happy Easter everyone! I hope everyone's (for those who actually read this blog) day was blessed. I know that I've truly been blessed this past year, and I cannot begin to thank the man up above for all his graces. It was a long day, church was mad packed and then dinner with the Famz was bomb. Can't believe how badly the Cavs pwned on the Celtics. But the thing I really wanted to talk about was my conversation with BFFC Char just now.

We were talking about how we never have drama. Well at least me, her and Bestizzle Rochelle. It's so nice having a group of friends finally where I don't feel constantly pressured to feel or act a certain way, and where our company with each other is all that matters. It sucks that right when we get out of high school is when I find this certain stability with friends. And its not just with me and my two Bestz but with our whole group of friends in general, yeah we have certain ups and downs but we aren't always plagued or complicated by arguments or frets. It's as easy as being and I'm so grateful for it. It makes life that much more enjoyable. I guess its one of the many things that I'm thankful for this Easter. My friends. I feel like I hardly thank them for all they've done for my sanity and stability in life. It's hard to find people like them and I can't be anymore overjoyed that I have them in my life to make lifetime memories with.

Just a little elaboration on my Easter prayer... this year, I thanked God for my famz, my bestz, my friends and all the graces I've been blessed with this year. The ability to go to a good school, work, to dance, and to be alive. And at the same time I prayed for more patience, more perseverance and to have a stronger connection with my faith. I pray to handle disappointments better and to stop being so pessimistic. I pray for a better understanding of life and my faith. After Easter service in intend of bettering my relationships and developing my own characteristics and personality for the better.

Amen.

"I gotta be strong, just keep pushing on..."
-Miley Cyrus "The Climb"

Go Too Far

Today was long but fun. It was one of those days where you think you planned something, but it didn't work. Even though it didn't work out, I had fun. Beach failed and I didn't go see Michelley as planned but hopefully I'll see her tomorrow. I'm in much need of MC loving. I spent the day with BFFC Char<3 and seriously like these are the types of chill days that make me happy. Enjoyed some bomb thai food, singing in the car with our ipods, endless timer pictures on my dashboard, Fry's electronic adventures, and then heading for dinner at Bestizzles. In between we had some deep conversations that are always well worth the wait of a girl's night out, or in our case, girl's night in.

Today's topic fear of commitment and pushing people away. Apparently I have mastered that art very well over the past few years and have according to my bestz, the Kung Fu Master of keeping people out. I think it's due to my fear of getting hurt. I've been so used to being independent and on my own and the minute I get even close to someone, I end up pushing them away. I'm guilty as charged and I can't exactly get out this situation without it being my fault. But it's hard to grow from it honestly. I know I need to let people in but I don't know how I can do that if I can't fully trust them. I know that sometimes the past is the past but I can't help but think of the what if's, in case I do let people in. I'd rather hurt than get hurt. And it's something that I need to learn and grow from. At the same time they also asked me why I can't just give in to how I'm feeling. Maybe it's because honestly I get scared whenever I feel a certain way. I end up monotonizing my feelings because what happens if I do fall, it only hurts even more. I'd rather not fall and save myself from the pain and even possibly the regret.

So I realized I am quite possibly stopping myself from living life the way I always wanted to, to the fullest. And so I want to take chances, I want to open up, and I want to break these walls that I've taken so long to build up, because one day I might end up looking back to regret the decisions I've made to keep people out and they might be the people I've been looking for and needing for the longest time in my life. So now, It's time for change. It's time to reestablish my outlook on life and love and everything in between. I thank my bestz for helping me realize my mistakes, it takes good friends to realize the wrongs I've been doing and to help me to fix it in order to live up life.

"You have to stop keeping people out..."
-Bestizzle Rochelle Chung

Baby Show Me, Show Me

Not much to blog about. Work, Good Friday no meat, Dance class <3 and then BFFC quality time. The best of the best. Here's some vids, I haven't uploaded in awhile. Thanks for class Apes. If you ever read this. :]




And here's where I fail :P



Hot mess right thurr.



SO. I just remembered. I realized I was wrong. I want to take a lot of things back. Actually I want to take all of April back. I want to rewind and do it the right way. The sober way. No bad influences. Nothing to impair my judgment and partake in situations that I wouldn't usually do. And get myself into a situation that went way out of proportion. I want to relive it. But then again, I told myself that I would live life without regrets. BFFC said not to consider it a regret but a lesson learned. I agree. This was a lesson. Never again.

"I just want you to be happy..."
-BFFC Charlene Akapatangkul <3


Cleaning my car tomorrow then beaching it up in my new bathing suit :) Holla at me Hermosa Beach.

Say You Will

On a real level, this song is probably one of my favorites at the moment. It's hellah old but mad dope. Not that I totally feel the lyrics 100% but there's a certain part of the song that makes me mad relate to the vibe of the song. It's been on repeat for the past 2 hours. I honestly wish a MAN would fulfill the lyrics to this song for me. I feel like I'm constantly the one saying it, it's about time I truly felt it. But nothing. Just nothing.

"Say you will feel the way I feel for you
Say you will do the things you promised to
Say you love me the way I love you
Say you will, Say you will"
--Brandy



On a side note, I feel like I'm losing touch with one my closest friends. Not the girlies, that's all the business right there. But just one friend. Stuff has gotten to his head, he needs some humbling and realization that his priorities right now are not the best for him. He's losing it. I miss him him, but I can't say much. This has happened before, and it went back to normal, but I don't know if I can assert as much effort as I once did. I'll be praying about this.

I Wanna Know You Like That

I think one of the most underestimated artists out there is Nikki Flores. I've been listening to her stuff since about sophomore year and she has yet to get any real publicity or media attention. Her music and her voice is a mix of Jojo, Paula DeAnda and Demi Lovato. She is one of the most talented voices I've heard in a while, plus the songs she sings is definitely words that touch my heart. Almost all of her tracks are anthems to my life. I don't see how Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez can get so much attention, while Nikki has zero to none. Don't get me wrong, Miley and Selena are talented artists, I'm obsessed with Miley's The Climb and Selena is a truly talented individual but I think Nikki deserves sometime in the spotlight. If you haven't heard her stuff yet, you should listen to it. My favorite track is "Could You Ever Love Me That Way" and "I Wanna Know You Like That", the beats are sick. Mad props Nikki Flores.

ANYWAYS

Today I totally ditched classes, I felt no distinct need to be in any of my classes. Therefore, I went to lunch with the Famz, and BigBroBro. We had fun. BJs was delicious as always with the Jambalaya. BigBroBro kept nagging about stupid stuff but isn't that what siblings are about, even if we aren't blood related. Did some retail therapy because I honestly think boys are the most annoying creatures in the world. So I needed to get my mind off of things. I got this dress that Vanessa Hudgens wore to the High School Musical 3 Premiere. I'm pretty much obsessed with it. But mother thinks it's a little much. Then we went to get our nails done. Same color, purple frost, I didn't feel like I needed a drastic change. Then got home, watched the Laker game with the Pops and then went to play some basketball with the Famz. Battle wound on my knee though but its all good. Feels good. :) So I'm outskies for the night. I have WERRRK in the morning but tomorrow is payday, but I owe my momma 100 for the iPOD and then the rest goes to the bank. Then subtract 14 for Hype. :)

So texting time again with SoulSistaa Tina. I swear her text messages make me happiest. I tell her she's in my blog and she's like "YAY I'M FAMOUS". I think I need more people like her in my life. Constructive criticism when needed but humor 24/7. :) I miss her, so we're doing something soon when we get paid.
"He probably has diseases on his PeePee!
I want a groupieless boy for you!"
LOVESHER:)

Here's what the dress looks like by the way. It's practically the same except short sleeves and sinched at the waist. :) Me loves.





<3

Love Sex & Magic

So I literally have not danced in a while. Its 9:49 AM, I'm at home in bed with a semi-cough and nasal congestion that leaves me drained. But class with Apes is tomorrow and I soo need to feel better. I need to dance. I have to dance. It's one of the only things that helps me relieve stress and find a happy place (literally). Like I said before, Dance is like a drug to me. I have a constant need for it, and when I don't I have a sort of withdrawal. I constantly crave to learn more, to strive for more knowledge of movement, of the emotional gratification it gives me, and feeling I get after I do it. It's like a mental and physical high that no other drug can give me. Ever since I was six dancing ballet, to High School doing Jazz and Hip Hop and now taking classes twice a week, I feel like without it, I'm not the same person. Without dance, I feel lazy, weak, bored with life. It's another way of learning for me, not just routines, but learning perseverance and to not give up, whether it's pushing myself or doing something I thought I couldn't do. So whether it be taking class, performing, or even choreographing for my little WHS Choreo babies, I have to constantly move and feel music. It's what makes me, me.

So to elaborate on the song title, April taught to Love Sex & Magic by Ciara and JT at Jayvee, I had plans already so I couldn't go but I'm basically hoping she teaches it tomorrow at hype. Take a peep. She's the business.



"And you feel so fly assisting me
But now it’s my turn to watch you"

I Wish You The Best, I Guess

I was listening to this song over and over on repeat today. It speaks to me a lot and I feel like John Legend is singing it to me. You always wish for something that could have happened, but you can never go back and turn time. You can't predict something ahead of time and try to fix it before the problems occur. But these are the words that heal the pain you feel. It's the remedy to a broken heart, definitely a remedy needed for me. You constantly wish for another chance, but no one really knows if that other chance will make everything better. At the same time, you can't know if you can heal if you don't let go. Decisions has set backs, we hurt and and we go through pain, its inevitable, but the growth is what makes us stronger individuals. That's what I got out of the song. What nobody knows is what makes me persevere.


"Everybody knows, but nobody really knows..."

Kailan?

Kailan mo ba mapapansin ang aking hiling? Kahit anong aking gawin di mo pinapansin.

Jamming to filipino songs, I need a guitarist. I'm so down to jam really soon. Jon if you read this holler we should do a collabo jam sess. :D

Go Head

So today was one of those day where me and SoulSistaa were texting for nearly an hour. She had one of those miraculous quotes of hers, "Save a wave, Ride a Surfer." Of course only my soulsistaa would come up with that. I miss her and so for sure we'll hang out soon. I love how we so get each other. She is definitely the LC to my LO. Ever since sophmore year, we go way back. Love her to the deaths.

FINISHED

SIGH OF RELIEF! I FINISHED MY PSYCHOLOGY TERM PAPER! I SERIOUSLY DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT ABORTION UNTIL MY FINAL DRAFT IS DUE ON MAY 14TH 2009. SCHOOL TOMORROW. SKIPPING MY FIRST AND LAST CLASS. AND MAYBE THE SECOND. I FEEL LIKE I ONLY WANT TO GO FOR MY PSYCHOLOGY PAPER AND HEAD HOME. WE'LL SEE HOW I'M FEELING TOMORROW. BUT FUCK THAT WAS A SIGH OF RELIEF. OFF TO BED... OR GO PLAY WITH MY BABY (AKA IPOD.) :D


GOODNIGHT LOVERS AND FRIENDS
HELL IS OVER
HEAVEN HERE I COME.

Proud Mama

I am a proud mama of a brand new black 120GB iPOD classic :)



<3

California Screamin'

Moving fast, not looking back, getting ready for things to come while enjoying the moments as they last. Making memories left and right, and savoring each second, not taking it for granted and staying blessed and humbled.

Lots happened today. Good day. Amazing day. Bomb day. Epic day! :) It's 2AM and the family just left. I'm glad we didn't end up driving to Rancho Cucamonga. Disneyland was way epic and super spontaneous. Chris and Mary "Tita Beth" are the bestest people to go with. Had a mad epic time. Disneyland is still a couple place to go to, but it was nice regardless to be at the happiest place on earth. Then I upgraded my annual to a DELUXE! Yup that's right. I can go on Saturdays now, except Spring Break :) Lots of things happened, good conversations, lots of laughs, satisfying smiles and delicious food. Can't get any better than today. Not only good friends but now family.

Here's my unofficial welcome to the family to my new "Uncle" Chris!



I put a lot of happy faces to emphasize emotions. I don't know if you can tell already.