I Still Try Holding Onto Silly Things

Sometimes I don't understand my mother. One minute we're good, no fighting for months and the next minute we're completely at each other's throats, bumping heads, and arguing. Then after we're back to being good? Its those bumps in between that mentally exhaust the hell out of me. I guess now we're good but for the past 24 hours we weren't talking? I wish our relationship was as easy as me and my dad's. We both don't expect much from each other but we have a mutual respect for each of our privacy. But with me and my mom, its not so much a mother daughter relationship but a friend relationship now. It's harder that way. But at the same time, I feel like she can't accept that I'm completely growing up and stepping away. We've been so close and now that I'm starting to depend less on them and deciding to act on my own, its hard for her to see that. I want her to stop being overprotective and overbearing and let me live but at the same time it's my fault for constantly depending on them. I don't exactly know how to deal with this. But it's something that I need to deal with very soon.

On a lighter note, last night was indescribable but not cheesy :) Me and boy went to watch Fast and Furious. I think the movie was pretty dope, I fell asleep due to my lack of a nap in the afternoon. But regardless, I couldn't help but stare at Paul Walker in his gorgeous baby blue eyes I think that's why I constantly watch Fast and Furious movies, plus Vin Diesel looks a lot like BigBroBro. Then after we went to Torrance Beach, (it was between that and Rocketship park but the beach is nicer even though its cold) and just kicked it with a blanket at one of the lifeguard posts. We were pretty cute. Holding hands, looking into the water, walking on the sand. But like I said nothing cheesy. But it was a great night. Cold, but still cute. I try not to relish on details and keep that stuff between me and boy.


So Friday was bittersweet on my part. Fighting with my mother, but an unforgettable night with the boy. I understand that I can't have it all, but I'll take it for what it is. Now I'm waiting for the family to get here so we can go grub at Korean BBQ since we didn't end up driving to Ontario we decided to just chill in Torrance for the most part :)



"That's what you get when you let your heart win..."

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