St-St-Stubborn?

Dear Blog,

Is there a difference between forgetting and being stubborn? I feel like I've just decided to forget, yet while doing so I've been called simply stubborn? I can't help but be defensive that hey I'm just being me and doing all I need to do in order to grow but why then do I feel like people are right that I'm being stubborn. (I've obviously had a lot of time to think.) Let's say that maybe I am being stubborn and I'm doing this all wrong? How would forgiving and re-evaluating make everything right again? How can I just say, let the past be the past and move forward, if I can't live up to it. Do I just let it all go, in order to stop being stubborn, or do I keep forgetting and putting it in the back of my head at the expense of my dignity? I honestly don't know. I'm mentally and emotionally frustrated. The heart speaks for the brain, but the brain probably knows better. On a real note, I feel super immature. I think this could all simply be ended, could have a while ago rather than the whole, "Ew I refuse to talk to you" situation. I don't understand why we can't just be mature, then I have to point the finger to myself and be like, "Ida be mature". But for what? I don't see what I'd gain from it?

To move on or the repel back. Feels like such an easy question to climb forward or to succumb to the depths. Hiding or simply seeking.

Love,
Ida


"I never meant to start a war.
Why does it always feel like a battlefield."